Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Feasts and the Filipinos

You want to know what a real feast is? Leave it to the Filipinos, they know how to make a "Fiesta" out of anything, even the much heralded 1986 People Power Revolution. Now, that was a 4 day street fiesta with tons of excitement, free food, singing, dancing, speeches, laughter, tears, prayers, all rolled into one - like any Fiesta in any part of the country. The mere mention of feast or fiesta sends the Filipinos into a frenzy.

Thus, when the Catholic Church years ago urged the celebration of the Feast of All Saints Day and All souls Day, the Filipinos started to Rock! What was meant as a day for lesser known saints and another day for their dearly departed was rolled into a 2-day holiday, extending to 4 days-due to those having to travel to the provinces and back.

In time, the celebrations needed one week to prepare the tombs, together with time for shopping. And what were being purchased aside from flowers and candles? Let me tell you: items like tents, extension cords, food (pre-cooked and freshly cooked) drinks, beer, TV sets, karaoke, cards, guitars, and heaven knows what else.

The feast became a social event for reunions and revelry, with the whole family and clan trooping to the cemeteries to share their packed food and entertainment items with friends, relatives, and even business associates. It also became a venue for extended corporate meetings, as well as a venue to meet new friends or textmates for the younger set. Thus, even the kids had to have a fashion statement going to visit the dead, for chrissakes.

There's singing, dancing, drinking, gambling, laughter, even fake priests walking from grave to grave to bless the dead, for a small donation. There was a time even ferris wheels and caterpillar rides were within cemetery grounds. All sorts of booths adorn the premises such as those selling chicken, hamburgers, coffee, noodles, and whatever. This goes on for four days and three nights non-stop. Even if the soul of the dearly departed were present, it would be dead tired!

Hah, credit the Filipinos for knowing how to deal with adversity and hardship - by having a feast to thank whichever saint was named for the designated day, for still breathing and being alive. That's why I always compared the attitude and disposition of the Filipinos (who eat 6 times a day) to the Hobbits of Tolkien.

Believe me, its a great race of human beings. I know because I am a Filipino too!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Crashing Consumer Confidence

For three straight months, US consumer confidence slumped and is seen to be hovering around 2-year lows amid economic uncertainties, according to The Conference Board. Can you blame us? Helloooooo!

Manufacturers, in connivance with media, has fed us with bad cholesterol for many years by molding us to feast on burgers, fries and steaks - grilled at that! Then we were duped into snacking on transfats with potato chips, pizzas, and like junk to be washed down with soft drinks. Finally, we have been lured to relax with addictive cigarettes after each toxic meal that would seal our fate six feet under!

And now, we are told our very young kids will entertain themselves with lead laden toys that will make them good people (only the good die young, they say). However, our little girls have been given the inspiration to provide Tricks and Treats to older adults in the neighborhood with their Britnyesque or Lindsayesque type costumes; described as the "very chic for the very cheap".

Consumer confidence my ass, there is deteriorating confidence in the entire government policy (Iraq), structure (Bush and his ilk), sincerity(Katrina Victims), and purpose(anti-terrorism).

"...and crown thy good with brotherhood..." has been changed to "...and crown thy goof, with thugs and hoods..."

Sick, sick, sick. Haarrrrwk... Twoooooph...ting

Monday, October 29, 2007

Tragedy for the Toy Tester

The US Lawmakers, headed by my favorite Speaker Nancy Pelosi, have asked for the resignation of Consumer Product Safety Commission Chief Nancy Nord. The reason: failure to strictly enforce safety provisions on toys made in China.

Toys with over 200% lead content above acceptable level have been wagged by Speaker Pelosi as enough grounds for seeking the resignation of Nord. Can you imagine that the most powerful country on earth has a commission with only one toy tester who merely drops the toys to see if they break? Hah! What a sham. They also have 15 port inspectors assigned to monitor the entire continent of products that have increased in volume from 1.2 billion dollars in 1990 to 7.4 billion dollars in 2006! What incompetence is this? Spurred by the President's level of competence I presume.

The dutiful representatives and caring guardians of America's children added that the Safety Commission and its Chief "... do not understand the concern parents have for the safety of their children..." Har, har har.., what a laugh!

Concern for the children?? What about those congressional pages being targeted as boy toys by some congressmen? What about those nymphet costumes they make their children wear to parade in the streets at night doing Trick or Treat? How about the exposure that their 18 year old children get in Afghanistan and Iraq that maims, cripples and kills them outright? And yes, those firearms that Americans are so enamored with that children play for target practice, using their classmates and teachers as clay pigeons?

These lawmakers should get their acts right. Why not ask Bush to resign? Why pick on an underling? Or is the current rage merely an anti-china backlash because of the trade deficit with that Asian superpower?

This whole thing is sick! America is getting sicker, but its leaders are sickest of all. Where are you Michael Moore?

Harrrrrrrwk... ThwBush resignoooph...ting!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

California Carnage:Testing the Terminator

I always get a good laugh at a segment of the David Letterman Show about "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches". It shows actual speeches of American Presidents, then cuts to President Bush attempting to make a statement, confused with his own statement, forgetting what he set out to say, or bungling clumsily all over the place. This short segment tells a lot about the brain of the American President and how it can command a very high price at the organ market for being largely unused.

His penchant for rehashing previous statements was evident in his visit to California. "...We're not going to forget you..." he said. Right, just like he told people of Louisiana after being damaged by hurricane Katrina. He added these words "...theres better days ahead...", also the same thing he mentioned in New Orleans during the same crisis.

Perhaps he would walk the talk this time. Consider the facts: the disaster area is smaller than that covered by hurricane Katrina; the affected residents are predominantly white, not black; the damage was greater for the rich residents, not very poor ones as in New Orleans; and the State is Republican, not Democrat controlled.

The Terminator, err, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's lame statement that the president reached out to him before he could make the call, then declaring "... That's what I call quick action...", smacks of ass licking of the most common variety.

The make-believe nature of his profession has confused talk for action. Where's the action man! That's all talk! And President Bush left with more talk!

While the fire was being contained, thanks in large part to the firefighters and the weather, one could feel that it (the fire) was murmuring
"in your face" to the California Governor, : "...I'll be back..." Arnold may be burned by this incident, while Bush has relished being kissed in the ass by the Terminator.


Saturday, October 27, 2007

Trick or Treat? - A Pedophile's Paradise

America's halloween fashion this year, which they expect pre-teens and teens to wear for Trick or Treating, is a reflection of their obsession with being sexy (or to engender horniness); as well as to delight the local neighborhood pedophile to a real treat right in his front lawn, to leer at lots of skin and cleavage!

Imagine, he no longer has to travel to some remote county or state, or to a third world country, to feast on young bodies who are willing and proud to show off their wares. The teen-agers, have been brainwashed to think that to be desired is beautiful. They can't tell the difference between being treated as a sex slave and genuine love. They pressure their mothers to get them a costume each year, and the distraught mom, thinking that the trendy costumes are normal, accede to the purchase even if her misgivings about the skin, butt, and cleavage exposure scream at a remote distance in her conscience. The desire for her child to conform and be accepted runs stronger than imposing what is rightful decorum and discipline.

American manufacturers seem to take pleasure in making everyone a Britney Spears, Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan - the young, fashionable, sexy, pussy flashing variety. They want to cash in on this perceived trend and goad young kids to "justifiably do so" as a halloween costume.

The costume tags tell all: sexy pirate, sexy cop, sexy geisha, among others. The designs range from costumes promoting kinky sex fantasies to out-and-out sluttiness. The question comes...:"Are the kids expected to do tricks"? What sort of Tricks are these, the one they are dressed for? And who will be given a Treat? Would these be the kids or the perverts? Are manufacturers promoting pedophilia and/or early sex start for pre-teens? Have parents surrendered their moral obligation to the purveyors of perversity? Are parents unwitting victims or just plain stupid?

It is one of the things that make America suck, and they suck big time! The " of the free, and the home of the brave..." has been transformed to the " of the freaks, and home of the deprave..."

Haarrrrrwk...thwooooph... ting

Friday, October 26, 2007

The Girl Across the Street Who Used to be the Boy Next Door

Never has a petition been filed in the Philippines about a change of name due to sexual reassignment, and the case of Rommel Jacinto Dantes Silverio has stirred all sorts of macho bias and disbelief from an avowed, yet shallow, catholic country.

The Supreme Court has denied his petition. Citing biblical passages in its promulgated decision, the court merely expressed its fear of "divine retribution" that would be imposed by the Catholic Church; and, its fear of losing its new found leadership role in Philippine politics.

In his or her published site, "Mely" (Rommel) claims to have had orgasm after making love with "her" boyfriend of several years, " a real woman making love to her man.." The article, "My Life as a Transsexual Woman", details her journey from a man of obvious biological error to a full woman; including the pleasures, triumphs and travails she has experienced.

My question is, why deny the petition? Why not create a precedent and let congress draft a law after? What makes a man anyway? Isn't it a fact that the reason this dangling weight is called manhood is because it is the family jewels representing the essence of manhood? If this is removed and changed to a vagina, isn't this enough proof that manhood is absent and therefore the person is no longer male? If we remove the genitalia of all male justices of the Supreme Court, would they still feel or believe they are men?

The only other thing that bothers me about Mely is why she had to remove her masculine parts, only to seek the same thing in another person attached according to its normal function - to make her satisfied and happy. I don't get it. She had it all along! There is something perverse about this whole affair. And together with the Supreme Court, the whole thing sucks!

Haaarrrwk... thwooopf ... ting

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Rene Saguisag: Picture of Dorian Gray

When Rene Saguisag broke into the national consciousness, he was the white knight - the quintessential principled crusader and voice of the faceless underprivileged masses.

That was several decades ago. Since then, the white knight has turned black, the caring attitude has become a condescending orientation, truth and justice uttered from his lips have become meaningless, rule of law is an empty rhetoric, and the voice of the masses has turned into the defender of plunderers. A true disciple of Dorian Gray.

Using all the eloquent legal arguments in defense of multiple rapists, murderers, thieves, grafters and plunderer, Mr. Saguisag has the gall to state, in his latest pronouncement, that the pardon of Erap was expected; since his crime was only jueteng (illegal numbers gambling and not government funds) and regular commissions as a stockholder.

This is the unkindest and cruelest doubletalk he can throw at the impoverished Filipinos. The convicted Estrada has become the protector of illegal gamblers in duping his countrymen, and the commissions he refers to were from shares of stock of a crony purchased through funds of the SSS and GSIS. And Mr. Saguisag wants everyone to believe this is a small matter.

We can only surmise that Mr. Saguisag (Symbol in English) has gotten tired of poverty and the smelly poor he used to serve. The 180 degree turn and thin arguments, expressed through a thick skinned face, are testaments to the mindset of an unconscionable and unprincipled asshole.

He is a Symbol alright, a symbol of ruthless decadence and moral deprivation. He is Dorian Gray personified.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Precedent for a Plunderer's Pardon

It takes a thief to pardon a thief, as long as the second did not steal from the first.

In this country, thieves have a heyday at emptying the national coffers at the expense of the foolish Filipinos; who continue to vote for these plunderers as long as they can merit some attention, in pesos, come election time.

And now an unconvicted plunderer (GMA) has pardoned a convicted plunderer (J.E. Estrada), in the hope that this will become a precedent in the event that the incumbent is likewise haled to court for bigger amounts. Without an admission, an apology, nor even a hint of remorse; this scoundrel even declared that he didn't ask for a pardon - his lawyers did.

The justice system has been flushed down the toilet, the nation has been duped by the elitist politicos again, and the dignity of Filipinos has been trampled for the umpteenth time by this travesty. The country is being transformed into a Plunderer's Paradise - a safe haven for large scale thievery - where the people are even made to swallow the pompus defiance of the guilty pigs.

Some say there is something positive about this development: That there is not only honor, but compassion among thieves.

Haaarrrrrwk......thhwwoooph... ting.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Top 10 Reasons Why Very Young Kids Smoke(And What Could Make Them Quit)

A lot of parents ask me why their kids (between 9-17) smoke. They also ask how I quit the habit. I haven't lit a cigarette in 10 months and 15 days, and these people who keep asking me continue to remind me of that habit I once had. They're not helping me any by asking and yet they expect me to help them!

Anyway, there are no hard and fast rules why kids smoke. I can only relate it to my own experience since I was 9 years old. The reasons (or justifications) built up from there until it became a very bad habit. It reached up to 3 packs a day when I was in my 30s until I was past 45 years old.

And so, here is my Top 10 list why I smoked at 9 years old, moving up to my adult life. Perhaps you can take a cue from these.

10. Marlon Brando, James Dean, Steve McQueen and Paul Newman smoked.
9. I was impressed by guys blowing zeroes with their cigarettes.
8. I got tense because of the sexual advances of my grade school teacher.
7. I wanted to be one of the tough guys in school.
6. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Freddie Mercury, and Bob Dylan smoked.
5. It looked cool.
4. I'd look stupid taking pot if I didn't know how to smoke.
3. I wanted to have my own ashtray.
2. My Father forbade it since I was 4 years old, talked against it incessantly, and berated those who did. It was just so much fun going against him.
1. I had to do something after sex.

Here are my Top 10 Reasons for Quitting.

10. There are laws and fines for smoking in public places and very stringent rules even in private
9. So many people react to it, believing, and lecturing me on, the findings regarding second hand
8. My kids feel as if they are licking an ashtray each time they greet me with a kiss.
7. I hate having to brush my teeth 6 times a day.
6. I have successfully burned a blanket, my T-shirt and my chest falling asleep while smoking.
5. I was almost haled to court on a sexual harassment charge when I accidentally burned a
woman's butt going up an escalator. She was wearing tight stretch pants.
4. I burned my eyebrows and part of my hair while filling a lighter with butane with a cigarette in my
3. More and more people kept smooching sticks from me.
2. The exhaled smoke were beginning to take on weird forms.
1. On New Year's Eve, while drinking and playing with firecrackers lit with cigarettes, I threw the
cigarette and put the firecracker in my mouth.

Well, There it is.
Hurrrwwk... no wait...., I think I can (gulp) swallow this. Yes!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

The American Standard

The Resolution approved by the US Congress declaring the deaths of 1.5 million Armenians at the hands of the Ottoman Turks (at the beginning of the first World War) GENOCIDE, is a classic case of American Standard, or double standard.

The temerity by which these out-of-wedlock sons and daughters of Europe express their righteous indignation is appalling, even going to the extent of ignoring diplomatic calls for restraint in issuing the resolution. Not that I have any sympathy nor fondness for George "Bozo the clown" Bush and what it will do to his Middle East interests with Halliburton; but to the gall with which the representatives of the American People adorn themselves with the moral authority to make such declarations.

I wonder what they would call the napalm carpet bombing of Vietnam, routine droppings from firebirds? Or the horrendous bombing of Hiroshima and Nagazaki, scientific experiments? And what about the systematic annihilation of the various tribes of American Indians, whose lands and culture have been totally erased and obliterated? Americanization? Or perhaps they were testing the red skins if they could turn white through starvation?

There is an American brand called American Standard, its a toilet bowl. I believe this item should replace the American eagle as its symbol. With all the shit that this country has been dishing for so many decades, this is the most appropriate icon for it. Pity the poor eagle, it is made to take all the final products of a very large intestine in its head - small wonder its getting bald.

Haawwwrrk, Thhwwwpf. - ting. Shit, I almost missed the spittoon.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

NBN (Neri's Biggest Nightmare)

Beyond what Secretary Romulo Neri expressed as his greatest fear in revealing all he knows about the proposed ZTE broadband project (i.e., he was afraid of bringing down the Philippine government); a far greater consequence to himself exists that really prevents him from spilling the beans: perpetuating the GMA Administration.

You'd think this doesn't make sense, right? Oh but it does.

The government may go down, but not GMA. She will have 1.227 trillion pesos to use for defending herself. The recent Loyalty Check ( Low y'all ty or thank you) with 190 Congressmen leaving the Palace with stuffed envelopes is crushed peanuts compared to the approved budget.

You might say, "this will no longer work!" Think again. Who will jump on the opportunity? The power hungry politicians of spurious intentions will fall all over themselves to support the story and condemn Gloria. Senator Panfilo Lacson will produce several new graduates from his Witness Academy; Senator Pimentel will link this to the election protest of his son; Senator Jinggoy Estrada will push for the reinstatement of his father; Senator Escudero will have an excuse not to file any Bills and focus on making accusatory motherhood speeches (he has zero bills in Congress); Senator Peter Cayetano will look for bank accounts in China under the pseudonym Mee Ek Haru Yu; Senator Legarda will retouch her make-up, pose for the cameras, double stress her pronunciation, and link Vice-President Noli de Castro to the caper; Senator Villar will take new botox treatments before facing the cameras and hint at taking over as President even in a caretaker capacity while the whole mess is being investigated (so he can taste what he has long been salivating for); Susan Roces will again display her trademark smirk while pretending not to want the interview; and Senator Madrigal would extol the honesty of Secretary Neri as a result of his sexual preference. All of these Senators, Honorable as they claim (more like Oh No, Rabble) are supporters of a plunderer who gave them hefty campaign funds and grassroots votes which they openly accepted.

The Congressmen will make proposals for defending the Administration but with their share of the national budget unequivocally certain. The Administration Senators? Two (Lapid and Revilla) will have no comment; Senator Santiago will detail what the "Consteetushen" provides in such cases; Senator Enrile will get a facelift, dye his hair, then require a mass of evidence to get beyond reasonable doubt-which is beyond acquisition; Senator Arroyo will ban the Inquirer from any news about the caper; and Senator Gordon will invite the blue babble battalion to cheer him on as he monopolizes the cameras during the televised investigation.

The events will not warrant people taking to the streets, they are tired and fed up. Why would they spend their energies and productive time supporting any of these groups of vultures masquerading as patriots? They have caught on to the tricks of the elite. Media? Owned by the elite. They want to sell their newspapers and airtime to sponsors and advertisers, so they can get their share of the money being thrown around. Entertainers getting in on the act? This is possible, so they can have additional fees to cover losses in having no movie projects and to finance their man made breasts, implanted hair, fake teeth, fake eyebrows, fake eyeliners, fake butts, ad nauseum.

The result of all these? GMA stays in the seat. Speaker de Venecia will be replaced and together with his son and Chairman Abalos, be charged and found guilty of corruption. Secretary Leandro Mendoza will be accused of conspiracy to cover up and resign. Mike Arroyo will be hospitalized for prostate (his balls will be removed at the behest of GMA); and Secretary Neri will wither away all by himself. Who would want to
befriend a stool pigeon? Unless he were like Chavit who could easily swim with the underworld, he has no where to go.

After all is said and done, the economy would be in shambles, the military restive, investors leave, capital flies out, the poor get hungrier, the middle class is burdened further, and the rich go about their business.

So, Secretary Neri got so sick at the outset of the aborted executive session because he saw the cup in his garden of Gethsemane. He just couldn't take it. He knew he would be crucified by history not for bringing the government down, but for perpetuating an administration at a higher cost to the economy than just keeping quiet and contain current costs. Costs of corruption, that is.

Where's my spittoon? Haaarrwwwk, tfffwwh- ting!