Trillanes' Tragic Telenovela: Toppled by Teargas

Everyone inside the Manila Peninsula Hotel in Makati was in tears at the end of the assault, not at the outcome of the standoff, but at the effects of teargas. Outside the Hotel, onlookers surrounding the area greeted the news in stunned disbelief. It was over, and it was a terrible letdown. Early on, brave words were uttered by Senator Antonio Trillanes IV "...the die is cast.." But it was evident that the "cast" in this tragic telenovela "died a thousand deaths".

Trillanes could not walk the talk, and the swagger projected was merely hot air that turned into sour bad breath. It was like going to a movie where your expectations were built to see a fight to the death as in "Custer's Last Stand", "The Alamo", or "300". At the climax, the last roll of film is substituted for "The 3 Stooges". Or, its as if one was worked up to see a thrilling Steven Spielberg film that turns out to be an Ed Wood disjointed horror movie that makes you laugh rather than scare you.

After all that hype, a few warning shots and several canisters of teargas and he gives up! The 1500 combined police and military personnel didn't have to wreck the hotel. All they needed to do was converge on the specific area where the Trillanes and Co. were and simultaneously expel their body gas (fart), and Trillanes would have surrendered! This un-entertaining clown has the courage of a rooster and the brain of a mosquito.

He claims a mandate of 11 million votes without realizing that these were protests against Gloria Arroyo, and does not necessarily mean they will march with him to ignominy. He probably thought that with a couple of million votes in Manila, he could get at least 500 thousand to join him. Fat chance. Who is he and what has he done? He doesn't even have have any combat or field experience. Its just as well because by the way he sizes up a situation and his own preparedness, he would get a lot of good soldiers killed!

And who were his staunchest supporters? Dodong Nemenzo, a respected leftist academician behind a rightist upstart; and Teofisto Guingona, a former Vice President who is a relic of a bygone age. The scenario and supporting cast really is a horror story so ridiculous that it makes you laugh. Will somebody please guide these two gentlemen (Nemenzo and Guingona) to the Old Age home?

Trillanes has exposed himself, (not as ordered by the military to strip down to his shorts after his arrest) as an incompetent, impulsive, unreliable, unthinking, bully who can only act versus helpless and unarmed civilians (Dutch couple he evicted from their home at gunpoint, claiming ownership of the property), but would cower in fear when faced with forces that fight back.

Cowards die a thousand deaths, but Trillanes will have to live through this embarrassment that humiliated his class and the institution he came from. Moreover, he would have to live down the telenovela he authored that is viewed with hilarity; together with his persona that is compared to a mouse that roared.

Remember the name Antonio Trillanes IV, whenever you want to laugh out loud. Squeak, squeak!

Haaaaarwk...Twoooph...Ting!

Oprah's Overtures for Obama

There is tremendous evidence that Oprah Winfrey is a powerful endorser and crowd drawer. If she endorses a book to her viewers, it becomes a best seller. If she enthuses about a film, it becomes a box office hit. If she supports a music CD, it takes off at the billboard charts.

Will her overtures to the voting public for Barack Obama get him to the White House?

Its an event America has to be prepared for. Consider these:

1) With his inexperience, Obama would be hard pressed getting Congressional support. He would then go to Oprah's show to explain his Foreign Policy, Health Care, and Unilateral Peace Initiatives with the warring factions in the Middle East, to get direct endorsements. And Viola! Instant support from the populace! Bills endorsed by Obama will merely be rubber stamped by Congress after Oprah's endorsement, unless they want to lose the next election.

2) Oprah's fans will storm Congress, write letters to their Congressmen, seek media exposure, to follow Oprah's support initiatives for Obama. Daytime talk shows will battle for political issues that get the people involved to obtain competitive ratings.

3) Entertainment and human interest topics will be mined for their political angles and exploited to favor President Obama's programs, all with Oprah's blessings.

4) Oprah will be the most influential power broker behind the Presidency similar to what Rasputin was to Tsar Nicolas of Russia, the only difference is she looks and smells much better.

5) America, the showcase of Democracy, will show the world what "Power emanates from the people" truly means, through the say so of one endorser. This is DemoCrazy!

Larry King spoke prematurely when he said " I've seen everything" after Donda West's surgeon walked out. If the above scenario transpires, Oprah will definitely be Queen and Larry will be rendered inconsequential, and will have to change his last name (King) to Jack or Joker.

Am I saying that Americans are that dumb or stupid? America has not voted yet. Let me put it this way: With George Bush still at the helm and current GOP candidates offered to the electorate being flawed, we already know what the Republicans are incapable of; honesty and truthfulness being the top two. With the Democrats, let's see who will win their party's nomination and why, then we will know if they're dumb. The winner of the 2008 elections will then answer this hypothetical question.

If they were dumb enough to elect George W. Bush, this scenario isn't far fetched. If it does happen, that line in the song "America, America, God shed his grace on thee..." should be changed to "America, America, God shed disgrace on thee..."

Haaaaarwk...Twoooooph...Ting!

Conflict over "Californication"

Should there be any doubt as to the justification for the Writers' Strike, this would most likely terminate it.

Why would an Executive Producer going by the name of Tom Kapinos produce a TV comedy/drama series titled "Californication", about a novelist named "Dani California", (played by David Duchovny) without authorization nor a hint of credit to the band that made both the title and lead characters' name famous?

Either he's an ignoramus when it comes to music, or he banged his head somewhere and is now suffering from partial amnesia; at least where the Red Hot Chili Peppers are concerned. Now, there is something he might remember for a long time that could probably cost him a fortune; one that his partial imbecility....err, amnesia, will not cover.

Anthony Kiedis, the leader of the band claims that "Californication" is the title of their 1999 album with a single of the same name. It is their signature song! And dig this, "Dani California" is the title of another song they released in 2006! However, Mr. Kapinos claims that a bumper sticker in the 1970s (DONT CALIFORNICATE OREGON!) referring to Oregon warning Californians visiting the state, was his inspiration for the series title. He most probably regards songwriters as idiots. Its uncanny how he can presume that everyone is like himself.

Perhaps Mr. Kapinos should replace his lawyer, one with a better set of brains that doesn't atrophy when confronting facts. The "inspiration" claimed by Kapinos is too much of a stretch. I doubt if anyone in Oregon remembers that sticker, if ever there was one! It didn't even say Californication. And what about the name Dani California? This is all coincidental? Give me a break!

The lawsuit filed by Anthony Kiedis alleges unfair competition, unjust enrichment, and dilution of the name's value; since their group made these titles famous and distinctively associated with the band. Seeking a permanent injunction barring the producers from using the title, Kiedis also asks for damages, restitution, and disgorgement of all profits obtained by the producer and the production companies.

Ironically, the song "Californication" is a warning to all those people with Hollywood fame and celebrity dreams, since they will fall prey to the only thing Hollywood sells - SEX. Little did they know that they too would be screwed. This thing Sucks! I hope the band cleans out Kapinos and his ilk. And David Duchovny? He doesn't have a sixth sense, he doesn't have any sense at all!

Haaaaarwk...Twoooooph..Ting!

Performing Prisoners of the Philippines

After uploading the blockbuster rework of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" on You Tube which garnered more than 6 million hits, the Philippine Prisoners of Cebu City have just recently uploaded an encore, Giorgio Moroder's "Electric Dreams".

Performed by around 1,500 inmates with crimes ranging from murder, rape, and drug trafficking, the latest video is meant to express gratitude to all who supported the uploaded file, and to remind themselves, their relatives and friends; and possibly other inmates around the globe, that they could still be together in electric dreams.

The prisoners have become some sort of celebrities. According to prison authorities, no serious violence has taken place in 18 months since they initiated the dance exercise. The inmates too feel a renewed sense of self-worth, prompting one to say that his 7 tear old kid knew him only as a prisoner and was ashamed to tell classmates about his dad. Since the Thriller video, he was proud to claim that his father is the main man in the dance exercise. The father, Crisanto Niere, said he is proud to know that his son is proud of him.

US prison officials claim that the dance exercise will not work with American prisoners. The changes it brought to the mental and emotional perspective of prisoners and guards in Cebu City was inadequate reason for these US authorities to even attempt a trial.

America has 5% of the world's population with 25% of the world's prisoners. Shouldn't they be trying something that could work? Considering the violence that occurs in its penitentiaries, all the talk about human rights, humane treatment, and reform to make prisoners return to society's fold is all empty rhetoric. I have yet to hear a Presidential candidate include prison issues in their swagger about human rights as a campaign promise. Perhaps it won't make them win, but all their posturing is obnoxious. It could also be because most prisoners aren't white.

The downside in the Philippines is that justice grinds exceedingly slow. Some prisoners in the video have been waiting for a trial date ranging from 3-5 years. Some may even get the death penalty if they go to trial. The CNN report put it aptly when they described being charged in the Philippines as similar to getting a life sentence.

The dance video is cool, and apparently choreographed by someone growing up in the 1980s. With the state of the justice system in the country, perhaps a new song would be more appropriate. A later decade perhaps with a Dave Clark Five song entitled "Forever and a Day", or even a 1980s tune by Rick Astley titled "Together Forever". That's because that's how long these guys may be with each other before their ordeal ends.

" ...Together forever and never to part, together forever with you.." This situation sucks!

Haaaaarwk...Twooooph...Ting!

Can Cruise Cut it?

Top Gun tough guy Tom Cruise, who turned into a saccharine marshmallow with an Eiffel Tower proposal, an elaborate wedding in Italy, and the infamous chimpanzee couch jumping embarrassment on Oprah; is in perhaps the biggest challenge of his career - as a corporate honcho of the illustrious, but long moribund, United Artists.

In what is recognized as a very important project for the new owners of UA, Lions for Lambs grossed a disappointing US$6.7 Million in its opening weekend, a holiday at that; where a lowest bottomline is pegged at US$8.0 Million. A lot of people doubt if the film could ever recoup the US$35 Million spent for producing it.

Prior to this, other films which he starred in such as Vanilla Sky, Minority Report, Eyes Wide Shut and War of the Worlds didn't do very well either, critically and commercially. His intent to be regarded as a major Hollywood player with this latest film, as both Producer and Star, has struck an iceberg and threatens to leave him out in the cold. Successive failures may be turning his gigantic screen persona into the Titanic: sinking fast and abandoned.

The question is: If his acceptability as an actor is being eroded (perhaps by his hammy and cheesy antics), can he cut it as a movie mogul?

The new company's planned second film Valkyrie, which he also topbills, will have to take the brunt. The third film Pinkville is already delayed because of the writers' strike. This leaves him only reasons why he might fail, but it would be a failure nonetheless.

It seems Tom Cruise will be cut down to size, and that's not a very flattering proposition (Ask Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz). He should heed the warnings and reshape his image, if its not too late. He should perhaps do movies with the following titles: Big Gun, Big Bertha's Barrel, Major Transplant Report, or Volcanic Skyrocket. This way, his old fans and new ones too will imagine him as someone with a big load and a huge influence; as against someone with a big chip and a huge ego.

As it stands, his first film as a corporate honcho is prophetic, "Lions for Lambs". He was once the lion that now morphed into a lamb. His fans (what remains of them) are still fortunate he didn't become a pussy.

Haaaaarrwk...Twooooph...Ting!

Putin"s Poster Boy Poses

Vladimir Putin has positioned himself as Russia's virile,energetic, and health conscious poster boy. After a series of antiquated Russian leaders who were visibly suffering from some sort of terminal illness (Brehznev), weighted down by problems that spun out of control (Gorbachev), or an obviously terminal man made worse by alcoholism (Yeltsin); Putin comes like a breath of fresh air.

At age 54, it has been quite a while since Russia had a youthful leader. He succeeded men who were well over their 70s; thus, Russia's image was always that of old obstinate grumpy men incapable of new ideas resulting in the extended period of the cold war.

Putin's poster boy photos circulating in the Russian press projects the new Russia: getting stronger and more stable, and growing economically. It provides character and energizes the people to achieve more for the country.

However, there is another side to this image. It sends the message that there is no fooling around under his watch. No tolerance for dissent. And the message to the west is "don't mess around with this Russia; I'm no weakling and I'm not a drunken buffoon." As far as Russians are concerned, the image brings a likeable leader that would entice them to tolerate abuses, murder the interfering journalists, and suspend the law. To dissenters, it says "don't talk to me about western style democracy, you can shove it up your butt; or I'll gladly do it for you".

The west, specifically the US, have no match for this strong image projection. Even if you photoshopped Arnold Schawrzenegger's body and added George Bush's head, it won't be the same. Bush's pea brain will still be visible, he's salivating mouth would betray his lust for plundering the middle east more than Atilla the Hun, and his unconvincing facial expression similar to that of Mr. Bean would elicit guffaws from all around the world.

For sure, it would be tacky for Hillary to go around topless if she becomes president; and Obama's small emaciated frame would be better as a poster for starvation in Africa.

The posturing by Putin and the response from the west towards his governance could leave us with no choice but to reach for our thick blankets and light up our fireplaces... these egotists are moving towards another cold war. The only thing that could warm it up is for all of them to go to hell!

Haarrrrwk...Twoooph...Ting!

Bordello in the Bowels of Brazil

Truly, there exists among us organisms with human form, but are in reality the lowest class of scum elevated to the bowels of this earth. Such "things" don't deserve to live. I can only think of a slow consumption by starving dogs interspersed with tsetse flies and killer ants as a means of terminating the unconscionable lives of these creatures.

Such "Things" include the prison inmates and the so called Law Enforcers in Abaetetuba, (50 miles from the provincial capital of Belem, Brazil), who threw a 15 year old girl in a prison cell with 20 men. Fifteen years old! She was not only used and abused sexually but tortured with burns and cuts for almost 30 days. An added inhumanity was an extra trick if she wanted to eat. These "Things" belong to the same class of scum. It is being determined if trumped up charges were made against the child just so the Law Enforcers could throw her in prison; and perhaps satisfy the need of the inmates - for a fee of course.

Its difficult to think of these people as humans. Its as if they had never had a mother or a sister, or even a daughter; that they could do what they did to a child and totally dehumanize her. This is an abomination, an outrage that should not be allowed to pass as a simple misdemeanor. International response must be generated to lay blame on the Brazilian authorities for such behavior not even cannibals would do; and shame is the least we can expect from a Brazilian society that allows these crimes to thrive.

I cannot say anymore because I am about to choke from the amount of puke I feel coming out of me. To these "Things" directly responsible for this horror, I hope the rest of their miserable existence will be a fusion of mental and physical hell multiplied 10 times and raised to infinity.

Harrrrwk...Twoooophe'... Ting

Beast of Breed Bases

US Ambassador to the Philippines Kristie Kenny belied the Bangkok based Think Tank report accusing Washington of maintaining secret bases in the Philippines. The secret bases serve as "Lily Pads" for US Military forces to keep China in Check.

" We are not building bases in the Philippines, we don't need any", she told reporters during a thanksgiving dinner she hosted for American and Filipino military officers.

This is not a lie, but a classic statement of"Plausible Deniability", otherwise known as Diplomatic Double Talk souped up with hogwash and specially laden with a lot of bull. It goes very well with the turkey dinner and is completely suitable for the guest list.

America is not building bases, USAID did! Under the guise of development assistance. They don't need bases, they already have them! They have changed the name to Cooperative Security Locations (CSLs), to hide the beast that breeds covert aggression.

The airport in General Santos City (another military name) in Mindanao is so massive and modern, yet commercial airlines use approximately 24% of the facility. The huge terminal is dwarfed by the size and number of runways. A network of widened and well paved roads lead to and from this airport, plus housing facilities in nearby locations. Workers made mention of underground structures built within and outside the airport.

What then is the rest of the 76% for? A skating rink perhaps? A landing site for UFOs or a place to hide the Justice League and the likes of Nathan and Peter Petrelli?

The one in Mactan,Cebu, mentioned by the Thai think tank is big too, but no buzz has been heard from it. The ones in Subic and Clark airbases are definitely big and both certainly are CSL potential.

The Philippine Senate rejected the US Bases Treaty 20 years ago despite the personal lobbying of their chief lapdog President Cory Aquino with the Senators at the time. However, we have always known Uncle Sam would find another way. Bribing politicians is cheap compared to what they would lose if the Chinese influence strengthens in this area of the world.

Ambassador Kristie Kenney has endeared herself with many influential Filipinos, local and national government officials, communities, tribes, NGOs, businessmen, among others. Her coming out with this statement simply casts her as one of those double faced, fork tongued, mouthpieces of America's beastly side clothed like the "little red riding hood". There's nothing "little" about the cover-up she said, yet it may represent the bribes for the Philippines - but the "hood" is well placed - as it is Washington's typical actuation. The "red" is aimed at China. She is "riding" on her established acceptance with the Filipino people.

Thus, riding on her popularity, Kristie Kenney is America's "Little Hood Seeing Red", making the bases invisible to those who are blind, and a hallucination for those who can see. America's policy makers never liked reds, look what they did to the indians!

Harrrrwk...Twooooph...Ting!

Wygant's Worrisome Ways

There's this presumptuous character going by the name of David Wygant who dishes out "advice" to other guys on dating and relationships, among other things. I chanced upon an article he wrote based on "so many e-mails from men asking him the question: Is she attracted to me"?

The item could very well have been written for Hustler, but he toned it down to make it palatable for general reading. He oriented his analysis towards getting just a kiss on the first date, but the undercurrent is apparently on getting to score big time the first time.

He starts off by saying "be a listener, not a talker". No argument here as most men are egoistic blabbermouths. But the idea for being Mr. Nice Guy is meant to gain advantage, not understanding; it is in getting inside, not insight; it is in looking for the hole, rather than looking at the whole.

The crux of his techniques is in what he calls body language cues. Here he says women communicate on a subconscious level with their bodies. If you see these cues, you have their full attention: no looking at their watch, no fidgeting, no going to the powder room as they want to hear every word you say, licking their lips or touching their face and legs imagining it was you touching these, playing with her hair, touching your shoulders casually or other part of your body, etc., etc.

I am not surprised why there are lots of cases of date rape or acts of lasciviousness from among America's dating population. Its advice such as these that get these men all worked up making stupid assumptions about women, and then act on these with the clumsiness of an overgrown baboon.

Licking her lips... what if those lips were dry and she was wetting it to ease the discomfort; or, what if she was relishing the light snack she took earlier since the guy picked a cheap restaurant where she knows the food is bad! Touching her legs... good grief! What if she was scratching an itch from a bite by dog lice? Or if she was hiding a run on her stockings? Worse, what if she was simply hiding a nasty wound she got the night before when the midget she dated decided to bite her leg?

Touching your shoulders or hands? She may be trying to find out if your jacket is an original Armani by feeling the cloth, and not some cheap imitation from China that may have high lead content. Why? Its the cheap restaurant you brought her to, you idiot! Touching your hands may be a way to see if you are the stock broker you mentioned or some martial arts freak making punching bags of their dates! If she doesn't fidget or look around the room, she may be bored with the same old losers she's been getting and she's just tired of it all. Playing with or curling her hair could be a way of expressing a desire to wring your neck with her bare hands for a lousy time that will delay her quest for Mr. Right, while wasting away with Mr. Snuffaloffagus!

The entire article is silent on how the guy looks or what he asks about or talks about. It could be the subject of a previous post, i don't know. But what about being convincing? Even if the guys could fake being listeners, would they be believable? What happens if the date turns out to be a Condoleeza Rice lookalike with the physique of Arnold Schwarzenegger? Her fingernails dirty and chipped off; her slip torn and sagging; her legs unshaven; and has the odor of the New York Knicks locker room at halftime? What if she resembles the girl across the street who look like the homeboys on the next block? Is there any advice on still being a listener? There should, since she is still a human being! But I doubt if guys who follow these types of advice will. These are bogus nice guys and have only one direction guiding them. They would not be convincing as listeners. What if it turns out she was faking the whole ugly bit and was actually a rich socialite looking for one to like her for what she may be, not her wealth? This relationship adviser Wygant will never know.

Its losers such as those who pick up techniques to score that give men a bad name. Practiced sincerity is not the same as the real thing. And women of the world watch out! Remember that a relationship is not in merely having one, it is in sharing a life you both agree to have.

This one's for morons who mistakenly refer to themselves as men. Haaaarwk...Twoooph...Ting!

Justice Jolts the Jesuits

What is it about the much vaunted Vow Of Celibacy and how come it has been violated so many times? In the United States alone, Catholic authorities have shelled out US $2.8 billion in damages to victims. This does not include those in South East Asia where this evangelization of the heathen tribes were imposed in the name of God.

Now comes the Jesuits' turn, agreeing to a US 50 million dollar settlement to 110 people in Alaska's rural areas for sexual abuse. It turns out that priests with prior indiscretions in their previous parishes, and predisposed towards boy toys and girlie pets, were dumped in the state to hide their insatiable appetites for sexual gratification. The defense lawyers cried foul saying there was premature disclosure of the settlement that is detrimental to their clients. This is nothing but premature ejaculation from a lawyer. Imagine, the settlement does not even require the Order to admit fault and no priest was formally charged. So why are they paying?

Obviously, to hide the obnoxious orgy.

The case involves altar boys, altar girls and altar servers between the years 1968 and 1975. One Deacon was reported to have abused nearly every boy in 2 villages. That's what I call a "Sexmorsgasboard".

Think of all these young children, baptized and guided in the Holiness of God, then violated in the unholiest manner by the men they regard as the agent of God. The kids experienced a commune of free sex for the priests, and I don't want to think of what they were fed to consecrate this perversity. These abuses led to alcoholism, violence, emotional problems and suicides.

Nice going, Jesuits.

Perhaps its time to rethink this celibacy thingy. From what I know, Jesus never advocated anything that wasn't part of Natural Law. Celibacy goes against nature. This vow was part of the Roman pagan practice. However, I think the priests were eunuchs, and that certainly removed any possibility of them piercing anyone, male or female, with their amorous swords. Maybe the Church should review this tenet before a Pope is charged with sexual abuse. Now, that would certainly jolt not only the Jesuits but the entire Catholic flock worldwide.

As for the Jesuits, pay up! Unless you want your habits lifted and your pants rolled down to get the justice that you deserve. It won't be a soft tipped hard thing either, but a 12-inch metal rod embedded with 3-inch spikes up your slimy butts.

Haaaaaarwk...Twoooph...Ting!

World Bank's Wavering Wisdom (?)

A US$ 232 million loan from World Bank to the Philippines was "deferred" by the bank's authorities, citing "irregularities" in the bid process, and "excessive pricing" of the 3 road network projects the supposed loan was for.

Philippine Government spokesperson Cerge Remonde shot back at the World Bank saying the deferment was a result of an "internal row" at the Bank, and the loan approval delay is a "collateral damage" resulting from this intramural dispute.

The fact is, both parties speak with concealed tongues. The World Bank is suddenly conscience stricken at "excessive pricing" when no mention of this was ever made during the Marcos era when the loans from the Bank ballooned. The kleptocrat Marcos stashed away US$ 6-12 billion in hidden bank accounts. Even the former WB President was not wary of corrupting the Bank, opting to give his girlfriend US $ 80,000 increase in salary. Remember Paul Wolfowitz and his gal Shaha Riza?

The current Administration of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is no fan of transparency either. She has bribed all she can, coerced all she must, and coaxed all she needs, to keep herself in power. She has no compunction about violating or challenging statutes as long as there's a chance she can get away with it.

The issue here is not corruption nor internal dispute. Both parties can defend these allegations with "plausible deniability". The real issue is infrastructure projects being given to China, among other things. China bagged the huge North Rail and South Rail projects, the National Broadband Network (momentarily scrapped but will re-appear as a regional initiative, I'm sure), and other government projects earmarked as development corridors. The reason China gets these is that it accepts the price, corrupt or otherwise, but guarantees that the amount is repaid handsomely with tight commitments. The World Bank ties so many political/commercial concessions to the loan (a trademark American method) in addition to the corruption and interest payments. Now, these US contractors and consultants are complaining of not making profits due to absence of projects.

The Americans tried to expose the NBN deal, which their bet Amsterdam Holdings Inc., lost to China's ZTE. That did not shake anything, so now they defer the loan and cite CORRUPTION. On cue to bark at the GMA Administration and to speak of dire consequences are the American lapdogs: Senator Pimentel and Senator Mar Roxas (Sen Roxas' ancestry have been America's sweethearts since the 1930's). The Bank is clutching desperately at methods it can use to reverse the Chinese influence. The wisdom of its tactics at throwing mud may backfire since its fair haired boys in the Philippines are of doubtful integrity.

Obviously, GMA is no longer the darling of the murderous Bush Administration. The dogs of America are being unleashed on the Philippine President. This will be an interesting battle. It would be nice to see if the GMA luck will hold out versus Bush. Unfortunately for Bush, next year is an election year in America and the deferment could be used as an issue versus Republicans. With Hillary looming in the background backed up by GMA's classmate Bill Clinton, she could be in for a better ride through 2012. Tough luck for the World Bank, rotten luck for the Filipinos.

This whole affair stinks! Only the gluttons of greed will benefit from it.

Haaaaarwk...Twooooph....Ting!

Counter-Terrorism Comes to a Close?

Fifteen months to go in the Bush Administration and the rats are jumping ship.

Frances Townsend, a familiar face often seen on morning news and Sunday interviews arguing the Bush position specifically on terrorism and counter-terrorism; bit the dust after 41/2 years as the White House based top adviser on terrorism and Homeland Security. President Bush issued a statement saying "...She has played an integral role in the formation of key policies and strategies my Administration has used to combat terror and protect Americans..." Townsend is the latest in a long line of Bush people who have recently split with the President.

The Bush statement is full of cliches', an apparent cover-up . We may see a magazine article about her decision similar to that of Matthew Dowd and the others. The thing is, President Bush again says the nauseating punch lines: combat terror and protect Americans.

Bush and his cohorts are the ones sowing terror in the Middle East. This Administration has almost single handedly increased the recruitment of Osama Bin Laden's legions. And what about this claim of protecting Americans? Civil liberties and privileges of private communication have been thrown in the dust bin. Americans are being killed in Afghanistan and Iraq. America is bleeding from this war and desertions are on the rise! The cost of the war has been so huge that to protect America's future, Bush has vetoed the Children's Health Care Bill.

Hiding behind the American flag to lure people towards a patriotic fervor is a hackneyed Bush tactic that would no longer convince a moron. Anyone who accepts this self-serving treachery is worse than a murderous mercenary for the propagation of stupidity. The photo from LeftwingConspiracy.com presents it succinctly.

Unfortunately for America, 15 months is still a long way off and all sorts of nefarious activities may still be completed before a new President takes over. In the meantime, lets raise our glasses and give thanks to the expected end of the blatant lie about protecting America, when it was Haliburton being protected all along.

Haaaarwk...Twooooph...Ting!

Violent Verdict for a Victorious Victim

A 19 year old woman meets with a former beau to get back her photos. They are chanced upon by seven men who abduct and rape both of them. The rapists get sentences ranging from 10 months to 5 years. The woman gets 90 lashes for meeting with an unrelated male.

Sounds incredible? This is in the 6th century? This is a paradise for rapists? "No" on the first two questions and most probably a "yes" for the third.

There exists a strict Islamic doctrine known as Wahhabism, which forbids the association of unrelated men and women. This case was heard last year, but the woman's lawyer appealed the verdict, arguing that the sentences of the rapists were too lenient where the crime merits a death sentence. And last Wednesday, the appeal was upheld, a victory was obtained! The sentences were increased ranging from 2 to 9 years.

But here's the rub: The woman's sentence was increased to 200 lashes plus 6 months jail time. The reason? She was punished for "...her attempt to aggravate and influence the judiciary through the media..."

Isn't this dandy! Welcome to Saudi Arabia! Rape victims better not complain or you'll get whipped in addition to the violent sexual assault! Only masochists would find pleasure in this. Only sadists would inflict more punishment for the victim.

The 90 lashes were never appealed since it is a clear violation of an antiquated doctrine that is a relic of a bygone age. Clearly, a rape victim opens up more wounds in seeking justice, only to get a verdict so outmoded and disgusting. This doctrine does not protect and respect women, it restricts them and regards them as totally inferior to men.

Women tourists and visitors to Saudi Arabia should follow these safety tips: work out and develop a muscular physique; grow chest hair; grow a mustache' or a beard; wear pants and plant a dildo in the crotch; smoke cigars; get an Elvis Presley haircut or a Demi Moore bald head; don't bathe and wear perfume, better if you reek of cheap gin; eat raw onions and don't brush your teeth; and, learn how to hump a camel.

This is the only way a woman will survive this place. Have a memorable visit and try hard to enjoy your stay. And if you think the reforms promised by King Abdullah on the regulated judicial system is in sight, better wake up fast as this will happen only in your dreams. Wake up, I say. Wake up! What, you wanna be raped too!

Haaaaaaarwk...Twooooph...Ting!

Henley's Hindsight and High Hopes

From the "Long Run" to the "Long Road" is a long waiting period, all of 28 years separate these albums. Apparently, the wait is well worth it.

CNN's Denise Quan published a live video interview of Don Henley focused on the Eagle's just released album, "The Long Road Out Of Eden". According to Henley, the album enabled them to "...get a lot of things off our chest..." He also mentioned the contradictions in their lives and their music and added half-jokingly that they "... have been criticized enough..." during a long successful career, such that they had their feelings surgically removed. Henley also answered questions as to their choice of label and outlet, Wal-Mart, saying that the offer was the best they received given the lackluster results from indie labels and the internet tried by other musicians. Wal-Mart also provided its program for ecological preservation which satisfied the environmentalist orientation of the band..

The album contains 20 songs in a double disc, with their signature harmony in romantic ballads as well as satirical takes on current issues in their own brand of cynicism.

The album's title, The Long Road Out Of Eden, is perhaps a statement to get their sentiments across without protecting anyone, not even themselves. As Henley stated "...Let the chips fall where they may..." With 700,000 albums in the first week plus 3,000,000 overseas sales commitments, the chips are falling exactly where the Eagles want to, in their financial statements.

In the meantime, the band members are 60 years old, some are almost 60, but they have weathered their differences well and have managed their individual egos. Tours may be in the offing, but another album is far fetched at the moment since they enjoy being fathers. I thought they would have been grandfathers by now. I only heard a piece of one song, but it seems the album's good.

The Eagles is one of my favorite bands ever. I'm glad they're no longer lost, "on a dark desert highway, cool winds in my hair. Warm smell of collitas, rising up to the air..." Ooops, I got carried away singing that line form Hotel California. Ooooh, I suck!

Harrrrrrwk....Twoooph...Ting!

The Sinister Spook who Slipped into a Sensitive Security Station

In what may be likened to the Lebanese version of Mata Hari, a former waitress who became a US citizen via a fake marriage; Nada Nadim Prouty managed to get inside the FBI, then the CIA, and subsequently to an assignment in a very sensitive station in Baghdad. Here, she was tasked to work on prime assignments and participated in the debriefings of high ranking al-Qaida detainees; and was regarded as among "...the best and the brightest among peers as well as being quite highly thought of..." (Read: trusted with high security clearance)

The problem is, her sister, father, and brother-in-law have very close ties with Hezbollah, specifically spiritual leader Sheikh Muhammad Hussein Fadlallah; a US designated terrorist. Her illegal classified computer searches prompted an investigation where she pleaded guilty only to lying about her background.

That's not a small insignificant lie considering the circumstances. The FBI was caught napping on this one, and their fumbling at statements to downplay her impact smacks of Keystone Cop antics that hardly convinces anyone. The CIA is at a greater loss since it is responsible for the Baghdad posting. The CIA acted like a bunch of Johnny English blokes, incompetent spooks given the slip by a winsome agent.

And here we have a President who never stops talking about the critical nature of the war on terrorism, and how the enemy seeks to destroy the American way of life; such that security measures must be imposed - even if these trample on citizens rights- for the protection of its citizens. Bwaah ha ha ha ha ha! With protectors such as these, who needs enemies!

Picture this: A tall attractive, intelligent woman walks by and all the men she passes have their pants falling down the floor. That's what happened to these guardians of security, they were caught with their pants down exposing the vulnerability of their "cocky" attitudes. For the quality of this law enforcement performance, I believe I need a puking vessel. A spit would be grossly insufficient.

Haaaaaarwk...Bluooowah...Splat!

Dowd's Disclosure of Disillusionment

The George W. Bush Presidency is turning out to be the worst Administration the United States has ever had, as far as its experience with its Presidents go; and the genius who put him there and then get him to stay for another term, Mr. Matthew Dowd, views his former boss' governance with anguish and contempt.

How very convenient.

An article written by Los Angeles Times staffer Mark Barabak describes Dowd as tentatively disillusioned at first, but has grown more forceful since January. Hah! What a laugh! This political butterfly switched parties at a time when Republicans were almost certain of taking the white House. He was part of the inner circle of President Bush; shaping and promoting this Administration's policies. Only now he says he's disillusioned, while those that lost their life's savings in Enron, the misery that engulfed the Middle East peoples, and even fellow Americans in Louisiana and New Orleans after Katrina, plus the soldiers mangled and maimed in Iraq are suffering; while he smokes his expensive cigars in his 18-acre ranch in Texas. There are ethical questions of loyalty he has to deal with, but I guess the only thing he is loyal to is himself and his profits.

Here's my take on this Dowd: Being called America's foremost political strategist is something he loves to bask in. His disclosures are a way of washing his hands from the forthcoming Republican debacle. He is sounding out his availability to potential candidates to get back on track as a great political tactician; perhaps even updating the methods used in Florida against Al Gore. He can earn from magazine articles and books that he may write, plus a series of lectures on the subject.

Mr. Dowd is re-marketing himself by pointing to a defective product he sold to the American people twice-as a dysfunctional clown he was not made aware of. How can he miss it when former Treasury Secretary Paul O' Neill was quoted in a book saying that during Cabinet meetings, the President was like "...a blind man in a roomful of deaf people..."

Does America have reason to re-accept Matthew Dowd? I seriously Doubt (Dowd) it. If the recycling of Mr. Dowd by Mr. Dowd is received well by its citizens, what can I say? Duh wd!

Harrrrrrwk...Twooooph...Ting!

The Sister for the Salvation of Souls who Simulated Sexy Sadie's Smarts

The Sexual Revolution of the 1960's must have been too much to pass up for some people, even a 38 year old nun. Tasked with providing the right education and moral values, Sister Norma Giannini switched to the trend of the times and taught sex education and moral looseness instead; with matching simulated exercises and practicum to boot.

After carrying the load for about 40 years, the two complainants, Gerald Kobs and James St.Patrick, now 54 and 53 years old respectively, will see their former "educator" sentenced to a 20 year prison term at the age of 79.

Prior to this recent sentencing, she told a panel of the Milwaukee Archdiocese Response to Sexual Abuse "...I thought was in love with both of them". How nice. It must have been the nobility of her true feelings that spurred her to squeeze from the boys their respective ejaculations of love for her.She carried on with both for over a hundred times in various locations (convent, classroom etc.) leading to considerable instances of sexual intercourse. It must have been an intense course on the sacredness of sex, with Sexy Sadie disguised as the Singing Nun, asking the victims to undo her habit while she sings praises for the boys' generous endowments.

I don't know how these boys' lives were ruined by the caper or how they lived through it. It certainly is more difficult to accuse a nun than a priest when it comes to lewd stories such as these. But what drove Sister Norma to do a Sexy Sadie? Is it hormones? Is it psychological or emotional trauma as a child? How did she make it as a nun? Does she have any guilt? Are there more victims?

There could have been other boys at the congregation molested by Sister Sadie, and the school could have been her very private orgy with the birdies of her personal paradise. I know they don't take too kindly with sexual offenders in prison. I wonder if she would get a baton this time in her now very public hell.

Haaaaarwk...Twooooopf...Ting

Philippine Parliament Paranoia

The explosion at the entrance to the main lobby of the Lower House at 8:15 PM tonight will no doubt give rise to a mouthful of paranoid statements from the members of the House of Talkathieves. Comparisons will be made with the Marcos era techniques used in the 70's and fears of an impending martial law declaration will be raised.

With the Makati blast still being debated in terms of its cause, this recent explosion will certainly run its course as the flavor of the week for broadcasters and journalists alike. Blame will be brought upon the government and the usual suspects (read:Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo). An avalanche of sound bytes from those seeking recognition and their name in the papers will once again be experienced. And oh, sooo many plots and conspiracy theories (most of them plagiarized) will be formulated by the ever imaginative frustrated writers, columnists, paid hacks, and propagandists of all shapes, ideologies and color.

Who will benefit from this blast? Investigations will be forthcoming in "aid of circumvention", and for what? The root will not be reached anyway. We have not solved nor resolved any issue investigated, and closure has never been obtained. I'm sorry for the four fatalities and for those injured; but those that were mangled in Makati were left to fend for themselves after the "newsworthiness" died down.

Elite partisan media, elite government officials, fat cat members of congress, they are all the same.They will benefit because they can sell their papers, air time and would have funds for the investigation, not to mention the bribes for those who need to be quieted down. The circus continues. Politicians will take center stage and spew their hypocritical views. It will be a nauseating prelude to Christmas Eve.

With the political tension in the country (actually, only the politicians are tense, about what we don't know. They stir things up to create crises and attempt to solve this to show that they are good at handling crises),impeachment cases, terrorism, leftists, Muslim rebellion, organized crime and all other psychopaths and plain idiots; anyone could have done it. What am I saying and who am I referring to? Anyone in Congress could have done it.!

Harrrrrwk...Twoooooph...Ting

"Superman's" Sordid Suicide

The only surviving Filipino cue artist at the World Pool Championship in Manila, Roberto Gomez, dubbed as "Superman", morphed into molten marshmallow in his first ever world title match. The Englishman Daryl Peach took the title via a 2-game win.

After a fiery performance that led him to the finals, including the 11-0 trashing of Niels Feijen, and sensational victories over Kuo Fu-cheng and Karl Boyes; the Filipino Superman succumbed to pressure and obvious jitters that were manifested at the pool table itself. It was a public suicide for crying out loud!

The precision with which he disposed of seeded players at the early stage of the tournament vanished like a daydream, replaced by the nightmare of an awful miscue that engendered national frustration and overwhelming disappointment. Daryl Peach played the steadier game and held his nerves in check amidst a very noisy hometown crowd. He was cheered by the appreciative crowd.

Superman, or is it Superflop, lost not because he was a lesser player, but because he was not even above average.The enormous expectations he generated from the Filipino fans, who witnessed the fall of "Magician" Bata Reyes, Django Bustamante, and Ronnie Alcano, turned into an exasperating letdown at the homestretch.

There's an old saying that goes: "...don't count your chicks before the eggs hatch..." Perhaps this Superman was counting his prize money and the fame and adulation that it will bring him when he takes the title. This is a surefire way of losing focus. Not only did the eggs fail to hatch, but figuratively, his eggs are now impaled in his cue stick because of it.

Harrrrwk...Twooophe'...Ting.

Giuliani's "Go-To" Guy

Would a 16-count Federal Indictment boost a Presidential candidate's chances if the defendant is a close friend and whose sons the candidate is godfather to?

Only if the candidate gives the voters an offer they can't refuse. But at this point, the only offer that will make sense to the Republican Party and to the electorate is for Rudy Giuliani to scratch himself from the race.

He has already admitted partly to his questionable judgment by stating that he should have done a better job of vetting Bernard Kerik before backing him for the Homeland Security job. This statement is a way of distancing himself from his erstwhile go-to guy, who was once the Corrections Commissioner and later Police Commissioner of New York.

Kerik also took the job of training the Iraqi police, but left after two months. Apparently, he thought he made it in New York, and if he made it there, he can make it anywhere! But perhaps he could not get a handle on what businesses were ripe for squeezing and what crime organizations can be co-opted in Baghdad.

Despite Giuliani's distancing words, its obvious he is closest to Kerik; starting out as his official driver, Police Commissioner, Business Associate and partner. He is godfather to Kerik's sons, and among Italians, that's really close. After finishing off the 5 families (his stated goal as mayor) Rudy Giuliani has perhaps emerged as the undisputed Godfather of New York; with Kerik as his Luca Brasi or his premier Capo.

Rudy's candidacy may be his way of moving out, but revelations like these on his former ties with shady associates can "...suck him back in..."

Its quite clear where Bernard Kerik is headed. And Rudy Giuliani? He's probably headed for another divorce.

Harrrrwk...Twoooph...Ting

Face of the Frontrunners

America's forthcoming Presidential Elections presents a dilemma for Democrats. Will they push for the country's first Woman President, or the country's first Black President? The predominantly white and conservative American Electorate may just go over these firsts and pick the Republican's offer of the first twice divorced catholic President.

The irony here is that Democrats are the supposed liberals in this contest, and yet it is the Republican front runner that lives a swinger's lifestyle, being thrice married (All were catholic rites), twice divorced, one known extramarital affair ( not with his 3rd wife) while with his second wife.

Democrats, on the other hand may grapple with the perception that Hillary would evoke fears of the return to the dark days of the Clinton years at the White House among voters; or with the obvious inexperience of a young President (much like JFK) with institutions such as the Pentagon, Congress, CIA, NSA, Joint Chiefs of Staff and the FBI. The additional burden of being black may be heavier than being a woman when it comes to discrimination. Even if Democrats choose both as their bets for the top two positions, whoever runs for President or Vice-President will be a "first" that may not be palatable to their predominantly conservative electorate.

The Republican Party's best bet is still Rudy Giuliani, but his claim to being a terrorist expert ahead of the pack may be bogus. Besides, anti-terrorism as a foundation of a campaign may not be as critical to voters, noting the humongous excesses and abuses committed in its name.

Whatever issues they support or advocacies they espouse is basically for America's interest. It has nothing to do with us. We only have to guard against what they do that could affect us and the rest of the world. Obviously, a great majority of Americans do not know what their country and its policymakers impose on other countries, even if it runs counter to their democratic rhetoric. The problem is, we get news stories on TV about their statements and positions on issues that are global in nature. As for me, my cow died years ago, so I don't need their bull!

Harrrrrrwk...Twoooophe'...Ting!

Hanging Helpless from Hopelessness

Mariannet Amper, a 12 year old girl from Davao City in Southern Philippines, whose earlier pictures expressed dreams of a better future amidst the grinding poverty she has known all her life; succumbed to despair and hopelessness by hanging herself with a nylon cord on All Souls Day.

Her diary tells a sad tale of one so young, whose only real handle on her dreams was in finishing school. She was despondent about missing classes for 4 days because she had no transportation money. Her need for One Hundred Pesos (US$2.00) for a school project could not also be met. The father is an on again-off again construction worker, while the mother washes clothes for others to have food on the table.

A letter to a TV Network that provides the sent-in wishes of the poorer members of society remained unsent, ( She wished for a job for her Dad, a pair of shoes and a bicycle for herself) because she had no money for stamps. She was the 7th child in a brood of nine.

This situation is a potential powder keg as there are 11 million Filipinos living on less than US$ 1.00 a day. The unkindest cut of all was the statement of the Secretary of Health who said "...This is an isolated case..." Holy Shit! This is the dumbest remark expressed by a high official who basks in the glory of his unembarrassed stupidity, displaying a ridiculous incapacity for logical thought. He is the one isolated, and he is alienated from the constituents he is supposed to serve. What an ass.

The government, from the President down to the greediest crocodiles in Congress are falling all over themselves, speaking on the poverty situation in the country. As if they didn't know? These leeches get cash dole-outs of up to 500 thousand pesos without receipts, Congressmen get Millions in pork barrel for their favorite mistresses or paramours; they get research stipends, fees for consultants, travel expenses for local and foreign consultations, salaries for district and congressional staff, and many other perks without having to liquidate nor identify the consultants nor present any completed research.

These politicians are the cause of poverty, their corruption is mind boggling, and they are the root of despair and hardship suffered by the Filipinos. Hey! We should not be despondent, they should! We should round them all up in EDSA and drown them in our collective spit! Let no poor Filipino ever hang himself again because of poverty and despair. For everyone in such a situation, lets hang one government official, Senator, Governor or Congressman. Then we let them despair. And us? Well, we can all drink and be merry, by getting rid of the varmints in our midst.

And Mariannet, if you see them try to bribe their way to heaven, kindly tip off Satan to get them into line once and forever.

Harrrrwk...Twooooph...Ting

Yakking at Yahoo's Yang

Democracy's Worldwide Police Department (a.k.a. The US Congress) through House Foreign Affairs Committee Chairman Tom Lantos (D), berated Yahoo's Co-Founder Jerry Yang, saying "...technologically and financially you are giants, but morally you are pygmies..."

The hearing refers to the disclosure by Yahoo! to the Chinese authorities of the source of the e-mail critical of Chinese policy that sent human rights activist Shi Tao to prison for 10 years. Arguing that Yahoo has no choice but to adhere to local laws, Rep. Chris Smith (R) termed this "plausible deniability".

These statements from US Congressmen are so eloquent and aptly describes the actions and statements of their target. They can readily identify one of their kind, a true and sterling member of their tribe. They were only describing themselves but pouring their guilt on to others.

The world's technological and financial giant, and lone superpower is the United States. Yet, they dance with Dictators as a policy to protect their interests. Think Musharraf, Marcos, Shah, Batista, Somoza, et al., all in the name of Democracy. And Plausible Deniability? Hey, they created that monster even if it was hardly plausible, starting with that crappy statement "...neither confirm nor deny..." What about their torture of prisoners in the name of Anti-Terrorism, and being found out, resorted to what they termed "Rendition".

History is replete with America's anti-democratic policies and actions, human rights abuses, and lies amid overwhelming anecdotal evidence. (Think Roswell, Area 41, cigarette addiction and death, transfats in canola and corn oil, effects of pharmaceutical medications, toxic waste, global warming, carbon emissions, etc., etc.).

What is the message, the lesson they are trying to impart? Snitching is a greater crime, that's it! You can rob, steal, plunder, lie, murder just like anybody else; and if you're caught, sorry for being stupid enough to be found out or not having plausible deniability. But providing information to get others caught is breach of trust. It means there is no honor among thieves! What a sham, the mafia has moved to the highest halls of power. What can you expect from the bastards of Europe? And Jerry Yang and your company, this is the beginning of your downfall. Hasta la vista asshole!

Harrrrwk...Twooophee'...Ting

Writers Wage War

They wrote only this: ON STRIKE! And with that, all the talkers on American TV reverted to re-runs. Its a case of "Mouths Wide Shut" for talk show hosts. Writers create the stories, the fun stuff, the drama, and everything else that comes with what brings in the audiences, and of course, the profits.

Producers say the action is irresponsible. They refused to give compensation to writers for new media income, claiming there is no profit there. The writers countered: "then give us 10% of nothing!", believing that producers would not go into anything without a profit. Would you? I wouldn't.

So, Jay Leno says without writers he's nothing, not funny at all? Will Ellen Degeneres have to dance during the entire show? Should David Letterman present a whole hour of Stupid People Tricks? (Is there a comma after Stupid or is it after People?) The truth is, when I watch these shows, I really don't see anything that requires specialized writing skills, save for their opening jokes. Most are not even that funny. The rest of the show looks like its all adlib and anything goes; unless these are also scripted - then that sucks.

I guess the hosts, even after several decades of doing their show, don't want to exert extra effort to write their own lines. They probably put their brains on storage long ago and just mouth what writers feed them. These guys are not even actors, they're dummies! But look at the money they make. Who's the real dummy? Its us, man. Its us!

So, writers, go on with your strike! Producers, screw you and cough up the money! Hosts, keep your mouths shut and let your stupid brains work! Fellow dummies, entertain yourselves with your own jokes and stories! You too can be creative! I hope you haven't turned into a complete moron by keeping your eyes glued to that idiot box.

Haarrrrwk... Twooooph...Ting

Condoleezza's Christmas Carol

(Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

Condi's here, we're in trouble

o-ur place, will be rubble
She's armed to the teeth
Ma-king the Mid-East
Halliburton's profit wonderland.

She claims she's, no war monger
global peace, is her offer
it comes with a price
that screws you up thrice
for Halliburton's profit wonderland.

(Refrain)

And her dis-position's very scary
no one dared to use for halloween
but with the likes of George Bush and Dick Cheney
she per-sonifies what they are in between.

She's a true, terminator
we'll be turned, into vapor
she'll be as genteel
when she moves for the kill
for Halliburton's profit wonderland.


Harrrrwk...Twooooph...Ting

Hayden's Herculean Heroics

Hayden Panettierre had come face-to-face with one of the Sylars of her real life, and she failed to save the Dolphins from a brutal slaughter. Much like the hit TV Series "HEROES", Sylar lives on through the 5th episode of the second season.

Unlike the TV Series, Hayden and her fellow rescuers were outnumbered, outfought, and out-maneuvered in an unfamiliar terrain. Her team surfed towards the Japanese fishermen and were in very real danger of being stabbed by those long spearlike fish pokes. Hayden risked her life for the dolphins, and the footages of her efforts may have won more for her advocacy than the creatures she was trying to save. However, it would have been much more meaningful had they succeeded in keeping the condemned animals alive. Her unabashed sobbing and breakdown at the beach would most certainly win adherents because of the heartfelt grief and sincere intent to deliver the dolphins from a merciless massacre.

Hayden displayed a genuine and firm resolve to prevent a wrong, unlike other celebrities of her time who only display their genitalia for the paparazzi. On the other hand, the Japanese are some piece of work too. Its legal in Japan to kill whales and dolphins, but they lead the first world in combating carbon emissions. They disdain liars, but would not admit to forcing captive women to become sex slaves in WW II. They claim to be civilized, but would think nothing of doing barbaric acts.

It would have been better if Hayden coordinated with Hiro Nakamura. He would have translated the message to the Japanese fishermen more effectively. But maybe they don't watch US TV and have no inkling that Masi Oka is Japan's latest hero and icon. He was probably busy correcting the history of Kensei and neglected the history of animal preservation. He's probably still in the 16th century.

And so, a messy end to that school of dolphins whose blood changed the color of the water on the cove. They will be the first casualties under the name of the indestructible cheerleader. And while Hayden and her team would surely continue screaming "...Save The Dolphins!!...", the Japanese people would counter with "... Save The Sushi !!..." Hell, I hope they all choke.

Harrrrwk...Twooooph...Ting

Cooper's Creative Caper

For 35 years, the name D.B. Cooper has lingered as a legend. His pioneering daredevil caper as the first, and perhaps, only successful skyjacker spawned a number of copycats around the world. Today, new FBI information has been released saying that he was given a bum parachute and that he probably died. This, the FBI claims, explains why he never surfaced. A few pieces of the notes found floating in the water long ago, were likewise presented to the media.

Initially, he was mistaken for a D.B. Cooper that the law was also seeking, but the name stuck. His fake name on the plane ticket was Dan Cooper.

For 3 decades, all sorts of stories and revelations have been written about his whereabouts after the jump. There were even supposed death bed confessions claiming they were the Dan Cooper of the $200,000 fame. And now this latest news that he died?

Come on, give us a break. Why didn't they say so 35 years ago? Why did they let all those others do as he did, putting fear, terror and trauma in the lives of so many other passengers? Shouldn't the FBI be sued for keeping this cold case information under wraps that endangered a lot of people due to imitators? If he was unsuccessful, isn't it likely no one else would follow? Or could this be a ploy to prevent embarrassment to the FBI since the anniversary of this legendary antic is forthcoming; and they have gone ahead to quash these?

The truth is, he's alive. He is one of those sky jumping Elvis Presley lookalikes (great disguise) telling the FBI "...you ain't nothin' but a hound dog..." No, really, this is part of the George Bush program of disinformation. In all likelihood, it could be Dick Cheney (Dan Cooper, same initials, he he) and the death is a cover up. That's probably why he shot his hunting pal in the face, for threatening to blow his cover!

This issue sucks! For all you know, its me, I'm D.B. Cooper-Done Being Cooper; and I am now Brad Spit.

Harrrrwk...Twooooph...Ting.