Souvenir Signing Shutdown by Starr

There must be a reason for the bitter change of heart that has spurred Ringo Starr to spurn his fans. At the height of the Beatles popularity, there was hardly an indication that Ringo Starr would turn into a grumpy old scrooge. He was the most sentimental member of the legendary Beatles band, selecting to record mushy songs like "Act Naturally" and "Octopus Garden". Perhaps it's all that wealth, the immense riches he obtained and enjoyed because of the fans who loved and cared for them like gods, and who bought everything he recorded after the breakup even if it was rubbish to begin with. His arrogant display of ingratitude will return to haunt him.

In an unprecedented announcement on his website, Starr declared that he will no longer sign memorabilia for fans and will throw all fan mail after October 20. He said he had too much to do. At 68 years old and with enough money to last him several lifetimes, he can't even hire a couple of forgers to sign in his behalf? Aside from constructing a pyramid for his entombment when he departs, perhaps with a golden set of drums and diamond studded drumsticks, what could he be busy with? His recorded solo albums sound like they were done while he was using the toilet after a week of constipation, where the melodies resembled the the shrieks of the screaming banshees. It didn't appear like it was a lot of work. It was not even worth mentioning that it was made by an ex-Beatle because it seemed blasphemous for being so deadbeat.

This is not the first time Ringo has invited the fan's ire. Some months ago, the world famous band was immortalized in greenery at their hometown in Liverpool, taking center stage at the town's South Parkway. Plants were cultivated for 18 months and then cut and shaped into John, Paul, George and Ringo using artists commissioned from Tuscany. Ringo outraged Liverpoolians during a visit wherein he opened the European Capital of Culture event, by saying that he missed nothing about the city. A few days later, the topiary of Ringo Starr was beheaded. A sure sign that the citizens felt disrespected by the thoughtless and ungrateful remark.

This time, it may not just be his head that the fans would seek to chop off, and it wouldn't be a plant or topiary either. Being the least creative of the group, if at all, Ringo is perhaps trying to build his musical legacy at this late stage, and feels he may be running out of time. This could explain why he has too much to do; as he reaches into the depths of his soul to unleash his true creative talent. He may just as well be reaching into the bowels of his anatomy as there is no creative talent to be found there except the final product of a very large intestine.

Haaaarrrrrrrwwwwk...Twooooooooph...Ting!

Brawling at the Bethlehem Birthplace

Religious intolerance has taken on a new dimension. The old "Catholics versus Protestants" is passe', while the more current "Muslims versus Christians" has taken a back seat. Today, it is "Christians against Christians" featuring the Greek Orthodox priests bashing heads with the Armenian priests.

This humiliating development took place in one of the most revered sites of Christendom, at the Church of the Nativity believed to be the birthplace of Jesus Christ. "Jesus Christ!" The embarrassment is enough to send the Lord back to his Mother's womb!

Imagine the agents of God bashing each other with broomsticks and pelting one another with stones from the Church itself. The desecration of the Church where the manger was located, with acts of violence and behavior one sees only in football matches pitting Liverpool against the rest of the world, is enough to raise the Pope's blood pressure up to heaven. On top of this, this rampage takes place during the Christmas Season where the message is Peace, Hope, Love, and Understanding!

The Church of the Nativity is jointly run by the Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox, and Armenian Apostolic authorities. Following the completion of the Catholic rites, The Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolics were cleaning their specified sections for their respective Christmas celebrations in January. The sprucing up turned violent when some of the Orthodox faithful trespassed into the Armenian property line, sparking the fistfights akin to a barroom brawl in old western films. The cause of this unholy episode is so stupid it makes it hilarious!

The absence of any tinge of understanding or tolerance was appalling. The sudden burst of violence launched through a vicious attack, was met with equal intensity by the other side. Police had to be called in to separate the warring factions of the Montagues and the Capulets of the Church. The fierce fight should be documented and broadcast through the Animal Planet channel because of its proximity to animal behavior when its territory is threatened by encroachment.

Its hard to comprehend a stupidity of this magnitude. Were they fighting in the name of God? Should they now start walling their property lines? Why fight over small property when Heaven is such a big place? If Christianity is preparing for eternity with God, why are they feuding over prime real estate? Does this have more value? Fine lessons they're teaching, by way of examples made famous by Mike Tyson. Did anyone's ear get bitten by the way?

These priests sure have the balls for a fistfight. I wonder if they would have the balls to face their congregations with this shame. Perhaps all priests should be castrated, lets see if they'd still have the balls for anything violent such as this, including child molestation and rape!

Haaarrrwwwwk...Twoooooph...Ting!