Thursday, April 17, 2008

"Dead Drunk" Drinker


Yuri Lyalin was literally and figuratively "knifed in the back" by someone he regarded as a drinking buddy. This was by no means a mere betrayal of trust or friendship, but a six inch knife sticking out from below his nape, like a butcher who would leave a cleaver stuck in a piece of meat to rest the blade in the absence of a knife rack.

But Yuri never even felt it. He passed out in the watchman's office not from the stabbing, but from the vodka he was intent to cook his liver with. He came to the next morning, took a bus, had breakfast and went back to sleep. People who may have seen him in the street or in the bus probably thought he was a tired bit player from a low budget horror film. Or, a zombie who is sleep walking in the wrong time of the day. More realistically, a man marked for death by the Russian Mafia that went awry. He was dead drunk, looked like he rose from the dead, and perhaps smelled like formalin - truly, a dead man walking.

His wife saw the knife handle protruding from his back and decided to get him to a hospital. Russian women don't drink as much as the men and that's a good thing. If she did, she might have assumed being gifted with a slot machine and start pulling the handle up and down damaging vital organs. Luckily, only flesh tissue was cut and no vital organs nor blood vessels were damaged.Yuri takes it all with a grin. He remembers an argument but says it's normal among Russian drinking buddies to be physical during drunken debates.

The assailant has surrendered to the police, but his victim is not inclined to press charges. He probably would press a much larger knife on his assailant's back in the next drinking session.

A reminder to all those who happen to be caught drinking with Russians who follow the same physical practice: Don't argue nor debate. Better still, never expose your back to anyone, lest you end up dead drunk...literally and figuratively.

Haaarwwwwwk...Twooooooph...Ting!

7 comments:

SheR. said...

Similar incident happened in Croatia a couple of months ago. Two drinking buddies were challenging each other to a stabbing contest. Not fatalities but one guy had a knife stuck in his arm while being raced to hospital still drunk...
Duh...

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The Fitness Diva said...

Whaaaaat??? That's one damn strong Russian! Never heard such a story!
Incredible!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Sher,

Funny how people do stupid things when they drink. This only happens when they get really drunk. The question is, why can't they control their alcohol intake to avoid getting drunk? Or, if they know they could not control overdosing on the alcohol, why drink at all?

But like the story you gave, buddies stabbing each other? Where I come from, friends don't do that to friends. Perhaps their brains have been fried by alcohol from excessive drinking. :-) --Durano, done!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Oled,

WELCOME!

Thanks for dropping by, and the kind words. Visit your site later. :-)--Durano, done!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Fitness Diva,

He was a very lucky drunk. Or, the assailant himself was too drunk to really hit a vital organ even with a six inch blade.

So be careful when drinking with Russians eh? Find out if they're the type who get physical during a drunken debate. And make sure there are no knives within arms length. :-) --Durano, done!