Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Souvenir Signing Shutdown by Starr


There must be a reason for the bitter change of heart that has spurred Ringo Starr to spurn his fans. At the height of the Beatles popularity, there was hardly an indication that Ringo Starr would turn into a grumpy old scrooge. He was the most sentimental member of the legendary Beatles band, selecting to record mushy songs like "Act Naturally" and "Octopus Garden". Perhaps it's all that wealth, the immense riches he obtained and enjoyed because of the fans who loved and cared for them like gods, and who bought everything he recorded after the breakup even if it was rubbish to begin with. His arrogant display of ingratitude will return to haunt him.

In an unprecedented announcement on his website, Starr declared that he will no longer sign memorabilia for fans and will throw all fan mail after October 20. He said he had too much to do. At 68 years old and with enough money to last him several lifetimes, he can't even hire a couple of forgers to sign in his behalf? Aside from constructing a pyramid for his entombment when he departs, perhaps with a golden set of drums and diamond studded drumsticks, what could he be busy with? His recorded solo albums sound like they were done while he was using the toilet after a week of constipation, where the melodies resembled the the shrieks of the screaming banshees. It didn't appear like it was a lot of work. It was not even worth mentioning that it was made by an ex-Beatle because it seemed blasphemous for being so deadbeat.

This is not the first time Ringo has invited the fan's ire. Some months ago, the world famous band was immortalized in greenery at their hometown in Liverpool, taking center stage at the town's South Parkway. Plants were cultivated for 18 months and then cut and shaped into John, Paul, George and Ringo using artists commissioned from Tuscany. Ringo outraged Liverpoolians during a visit wherein he opened the European Capital of Culture event, by saying that he missed nothing about the city. A few days later, the topiary of Ringo Starr was beheaded. A sure sign that the citizens felt disrespected by the thoughtless and ungrateful remark.

This time, it may not just be his head that the fans would seek to chop off, and it wouldn't be a plant or topiary either. Being the least creative of the group, if at all, Ringo is perhaps trying to build his musical legacy at this late stage, and feels he may be running out of time. This could explain why he has too much to do; as he reaches into the depths of his soul to unleash his true creative talent. He may just as well be reaching into the bowels of his anatomy as there is no creative talent to be found there except the final product of a very large intestine.

Haaaarrrrrrrwwwwk...Twooooooooph...Ting!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Written with your usual poignancy, though with rather more, um, excrement than usual...(!)

But i'd heard about his refusal to autograph things for fans (a rare moment of non-election, non-economy news here in the states), and thought it rather a bummer for the die-hard fans, many of whom may seem quite impoverished in comparison to Ringo's riches. As far as injustices go, this one qualifies as intolerably uncool, to say the least...

jc smith said...

A shirt with his face printed on it and the words
"Spit on him whenever you see him."

That should make a lot of money.

The Fitness Diva said...

He should be happy that fans still even give a damn. He wasn't even one of the most talented members of the Beatles, by far, and was really just lucky to be in the right place at the right time.

The music he's made in the past couple decades is horrible. (Not that Paul's has been much better)

If he's really that upset about getting all the mail, can't he just have it forwarded elsewhere and assign someone else to take care of it?
Guy is a real boob!

Babs (Beetle) said...

As the Beatle with the least talent, I am surprised he still has a fan base. John was the real talent in that foursome, followed by Paul, then George. Ringo was only a drummer and not a brilliant drummer at that!

Still, what does he care? He has his fortune and no longer needs his fans!

Kim said...

another simply sensational post ...
sounds like Ringo is pretty ungrateful and I'm not surprised that they lopped off his 'head' ...
as you said ...how much would it take to find some alias photo signers....to do the job that he obviously can't be bothered doing !!
enjoy your weekend Durano :) :)

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi "r",

This arrogance of Ringo is totally uncalled for.

It may have a backlash he may not be able to contend with, and I agree with you, it is so uncool. :-) --Durano, done!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi JC,

Wait until the issue reaches certain levels of hysteria. I wouldn't want you to invest in something that may not have a sizeable demand - especially in these hard times. LOL! :-( --Durano, done!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Fitness Diva,

You've said it all. It's hard to fathom how this kind of snobbishness and arrogance can be used to repay loyalty and devotion.

He's the deadbeat of the band and he's acting like some kind of overaged prima dona. He is losing it, all of it. :-) --Durano, done!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Babs,

WELCOME!

I've been to your sites and they seem to be by invitation only, can't get in. Well, those I clicked - I assumed the rest were the same. Maybe I'll check the others, there must be an opening somewhere.

The Beatle's had an original drummer and Ringo was a last minute replacement - until he planted himself in the group. And his drumming wasn't even on the right beat at the outset.

He has grown old and has now rid himself of those he has enriched himself with. Can't believe he developed the mindset of a selfish capitalist. :-( --Durano, done!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hello Kim,

There will be a Karma for this uncalled for action. The ungrateful are usually brought to a more painful experience than the rest that they have wronged.

I feel sorry for him already, but I have yet to develop any sympathy for what might befall him after this.

Have a nice weekend too! :-) --Durano, done!

Anonymous said...

He is probably just bitter that his years of glory are behind him!

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Zhu,

I really think he wants to leave a musical legacy, it's the one thing that the rest of the band have and he can see how it makes them immortal.

But he has reacted in such a bad manner that could make him infamous. Besides, if there really is nothing there, why force the issue. The best legacy he could leave is perhaps to promote the songs through new artists interpreting the music in their own way, or something like it. Spending money and time in a grumpy mood to come out with original rubbish is still rubbish. Won't make much of a legacy too. :-) --Durano, done!

Anonymous said...

thanks for the heads up

durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Recycle Phone,

You're welcome! :-) --Durano, done!

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