Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wygant's Worrisome Ways

There's this presumptuous character going by the name of David Wygant who dishes out "advice" to other guys on dating and relationships, among other things. I chanced upon an article he wrote based on "so many e-mails from men asking him the question: Is she attracted to me"?

The item could very well have been written for Hustler, but he toned it down to make it palatable for general reading. He oriented his analysis towards getting just a kiss on the first date, but the undercurrent is apparently on getting to score big time the first time.

He starts off by saying "be a listener, not a talker". No argument here as most men are egoistic blabbermouths. But the idea for being Mr. Nice Guy is meant to gain advantage, not understanding; it is in getting inside, not insight; it is in looking for the hole, rather than looking at the whole.

The crux of his techniques is in what he calls body language cues. Here he says women communicate on a subconscious level with their bodies. If you see these cues, you have their full attention: no looking at their watch, no fidgeting, no going to the powder room as they want to hear every word you say, licking their lips or touching their face and legs imagining it was you touching these, playing with her hair, touching your shoulders casually or other part of your body, etc., etc.

I am not surprised why there are lots of cases of date rape or acts of lasciviousness from among America's dating population. Its advice such as these that get these men all worked up making stupid assumptions about women, and then act on these with the clumsiness of an overgrown baboon.

Licking her lips... what if those lips were dry and she was wetting it to ease the discomfort; or, what if she was relishing the light snack she took earlier since the guy picked a cheap restaurant where she knows the food is bad! Touching her legs... good grief! What if she was scratching an itch from a bite by dog lice? Or if she was hiding a run on her stockings? Worse, what if she was simply hiding a nasty wound she got the night before when the midget she dated decided to bite her leg?

Touching your shoulders or hands? She may be trying to find out if your jacket is an original Armani by feeling the cloth, and not some cheap imitation from China that may have high lead content. Why? Its the cheap restaurant you brought her to, you idiot! Touching your hands may be a way to see if you are the stock broker you mentioned or some martial arts freak making punching bags of their dates! If she doesn't fidget or look around the room, she may be bored with the same old losers she's been getting and she's just tired of it all. Playing with or curling her hair could be a way of expressing a desire to wring your neck with her bare hands for a lousy time that will delay her quest for Mr. Right, while wasting away with Mr. Snuffaloffagus!

The entire article is silent on how the guy looks or what he asks about or talks about. It could be the subject of a previous post, i don't know. But what about being convincing? Even if the guys could fake being listeners, would they be believable? What happens if the date turns out to be a Condoleeza Rice lookalike with the physique of Arnold Schwarzenegger? Her fingernails dirty and chipped off; her slip torn and sagging; her legs unshaven; and has the odor of the New York Knicks locker room at halftime? What if she resembles the girl across the street who look like the homeboys on the next block? Is there any advice on still being a listener? There should, since she is still a human being! But I doubt if guys who follow these types of advice will. These are bogus nice guys and have only one direction guiding them. They would not be convincing as listeners. What if it turns out she was faking the whole ugly bit and was actually a rich socialite looking for one to like her for what she may be, not her wealth? This relationship adviser Wygant will never know.

Its losers such as those who pick up techniques to score that give men a bad name. Practiced sincerity is not the same as the real thing. And women of the world watch out! Remember that a relationship is not in merely having one, it is in sharing a life you both agree to have.

This one's for morons who mistakenly refer to themselves as men. Haaaarwk...Twoooph...Ting!

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